Great Expectations

I don't know, but the title sounded good. I think everyone has these great expectations though. I recently read a friends journal entry, and it's started me to ponder a few things...

I expect people to be human in their humanity. With free will humans are full of flaws as well as beauty in that perfection of their flaws.

Perfection you say? Yes! I believe that having flaws makes me perfect. It is what makes me... Kimmie, Kim, Kimberly, bitch, lover, slut... or better yet, simply Mee_Ow.

Getting comfortable with this notion has taken some time but I still wonder why it is many still strive to be "perfect" to someone else's standard? Why not create your own standard? Why adopt someone else's point of view of yourself?

Why not form your own opinion and have the faith that you will eventually find your bliss through that perspective?

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable. It takes strength beyond measure to be true to yourself first above all your peers. It takes being brave to form and voice your own opinion when it goes against the views of society. It takes honor & integrity to have the humility to admit openly when your opinion is wrong or has changed.

So why do most people think that showing any of the above characteristics is a weakness or less than desired?

The hardest part for me thus far has been letting go of expectations that I have unknowingly put upon others. To truly see my error in this, I feel, has been my greatest stride and has led me to be able to finally set down baggage that I have carried around with me from the age of 5 years old.

Letting go of them has given me freedom like I have never known. It has restored my youth, it has taught me how to accept love, it has healed what has ailed me for so many years.

All you have to do is give yourself that permission to be perfectly flawed.

The Spider and the Fly or Just Another Kinky Relationship?

I've had days where I have felt like this. Some days I am the Spider and other days I am the fly... Who are you today?


I just recently re-read this and just had to share in it's awesomeness..
___________________________________________________________




Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly, 
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy; 
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair, 
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there." 
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain, 
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again." 




"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high; 
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly. 
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin, 
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!" 
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said, 
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!" 




Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do, 
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you? 
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice; 
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?" 
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be, 
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!" 




"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise, 
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes! 
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf, 
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself." 
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say, 
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day." 




The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den, 
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again: 
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly, 
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly. 
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing, 
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing; 
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head; 
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!" 


Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly, 
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by; 
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew, 
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue -- 
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last, 
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast. 
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den, 
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again! 




And now dear little children, who may this story read, 
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed: 
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye, 
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.




- Mary Howitt