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Meow ^..^ is a growing, evolving, kinky, carbon based critter, sexual deviant, closet artist, a working graphic designer for the last 15 years, and I am stuck in Utah. This is about my journey...

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Finding that elusive Goddess in me...


(original entry February 2010)
She is in there, in a box, and for so many years She has been bound and gagged. Good news is.....
I FOUND THE SAFETY SCISSORS!!!!
She has been bound in darkness all of my adult life thus far. She is a bit shy and timid, not too sure if She is safe to come out. She had gotten comfortable with being in the dark recesses of my mind. I don't think She has seen the light of day since She was 5 years old.
In reading this book, A Goddess In My Shoes by Rickie Moore, has been a stepping stone to healing and constructing a shrine to the Goddess that is within me. It is truly ok to let go of the guilt I have had most of my adult life. To awaken my spirit, my mind and my body to the wonders around me.
It's ok to be who I truly am, it's ok to have thoughts and feelings. To live in the moment and relish it for all it's worth. This is what I have to look forward to. Crying because I can, and laughing through the tears at the wonder of it all.
I am open, I am exposed, I am standing naked before you striped of all veils that I hid behind for all those years. I ask you .... have you ever witnessed something so beautiful and precious?
I haven't... until recently. I didn't know who I was, and was afraid that if I found out, I wouldn't want to share that with anybody. All I had ever seen of myself were reflections in society's distorted mirror. Now with that veil ripped away, I can see clearly... I have my own mirror.
I love who I see in it, honestly and openly. I am learning to love that Goddess within me.
Below I have shared a few quotes that really spoke to me from this book.

"Life is a search for personal power. We all need it and we all grab for it. I had used sex, money, drugs, my role and my position to grab at it. Using sex to gain power is like screwing a slot machine...it's cold as steel and we rarely hit the jackpot."
Liberation is the freedom to tolerate, change or be grateful.
Awakening means being consumed with awareness of the present. It means dropping denial and accepting what is. It means giving up beliefs in exchange for knowing.
Enlightenment means living in the light of truth. It doesn't mean knowing everything. To me, it means knowing we can either light-up when we destroy ourselves, or when we see the stars in each other's eyes.
That choice is our destiny.
-Rickie Moore, A Goddess In My Shoes

Next up...Eastern Body Western Mind - Anodea Judith
I have a lot of work to do yet, and hopefully I will never finish the work but reap rewards along the way. If I am ever finished, well let's just say I won't be here on earth anymore ;)
^..^



(original entry February 2010)

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