My momma said there would come a day...

(original entry January 2010)

This day is coming... oh yes indeed.

When I was pregnant and I didn't know if I was having a girl or a boy, I found myself weighing the pro's and con's of each.

With girls, you could dress them up in frilly dresses and the like, have tea time, dollies and barbies, ballet lessons, glitter and lip gloss until they started to talk back, have hormones, and then would come the promiscuity, boys, shot gun at the front door, the need for a chastity belt.

With boys, you could dress them up in cute little outfits, play in the dirt, take them to the races, get them involved in sports, rough-house, until they too started to talk back, have hormones, kiss girls, date, have a baseball bat at the front door, the need for condoms under the sink and in the wallet. this is all spoken in jest I found myself concluding that a boy would be by far easier to raise.

My mom said to me once, "Dear daughter, while girls are a lot of work, and yes boys are much more simple. However, having a son will someday break your heart." I never really understood her, until recently, I think I am beginning to understand it. He is coming of age, and he has had missteps, made a few bad choices, and now I have to witness the consequences of those choices.

I am powerless to change the things he has chosen to do. I raised him to be a free thinking individual and to be responsible for the choices he makes, both good and bad. Thus far he has lived up to that, and as such why he is now in trouble. He could have lied, blamed someone else, or been evasive. No, instead he took responsibility and told the truth. Am I wrong to feel proud of this? Ah, that is where the conflict lies.

My only hope is that I may help him get back on his path, by not enabling him, but by empowering him and giving him the boundaries he is lacking with his father.

Sorry this isn't a curse filled sarcastic rant, nor is it full of kinky thoughts or ramblings. I just had to put my thoughts into words. After all I am a mom, I am human, I am more than just a profile on a kinky website.

Thanks for reading and letting me share.

(original entry January 2010)